Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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