Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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