hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
