I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
