it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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