Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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