I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
so much tequila, so little girl.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
