Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
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