I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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