This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
third nipple confirmed
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
