nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
