We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
