yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
