he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
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Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
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I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize