It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
