you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I think people are normalizing furries
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
