I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
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