Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
