is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
