he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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