You can't motorboat a personality
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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