he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
