Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
