who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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