we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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