So drunk its hurt
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
