we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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