i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
