she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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