So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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