And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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