I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
