You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize