But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Jerry, you need to find god
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
