i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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