hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
