hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
