Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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