I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
