oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
