Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
