Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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