just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
