I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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