After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
