Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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