fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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