That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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