...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
two words: eviction party
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
