It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
