do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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