how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize