the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize