Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
