Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache

(225): View more from Louisiana

You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice

(504): View more from Louisiana

Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?

(225): View more from Louisiana

I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....

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(504): Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache (225): You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice (504): Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time? (225): I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz.... http://tfl.nu/t0ng

Replies (4) Good night (1566) Bad night (722)
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(407): View more from Florida

Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.

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(407): Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child. http://tfl.nu/79c5

Replies (50) Good night (742) Bad night (5970)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations

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(228): yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations http://tfl.nu/eytk

Replies (16) Good night (5678) Bad night (643)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life

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(405): so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life http://tfl.nu/i5i3

Replies (13) Good night (4354) Bad night (941)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....

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(701): Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of..... http://tfl.nu/svr5

Replies (6) Good night (779) Bad night (2922)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up

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(301): Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up http://tfl.nu/i9yn

Replies (17) Good night (1802) Bad night (675)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.

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(919): Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side. http://tfl.nu/vqy8

Replies (6) Good night (2925) Bad night (614)
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(518): View more from New York

Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play

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(518): Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play http://tfl.nu/j01d

Replies (10) Good night (1681) Bad night (722)
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(913): View more from Kansas

I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.

(785): View more from Kansas

When were you at my house?

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(913): I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home. (785): When were you at my house? http://tfl.nu/k6cm

Replies (5) Good night (2987) Bad night (848)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?

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(859): I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown? http://tfl.nu/qdbc

Replies (1) Good night (703) Bad night (774)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.

(1-715): View more from Wisconsin

PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.

(1-715): View more from Wisconsin

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.

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(715): I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT. (1-715): PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING. (1-715): I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little. http://tfl.nu/04tj

Replies (15) Good night (2137) Bad night (632)
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(260): View more from Indiana

Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.

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(260): Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you. http://tfl.nu/7qhe

Replies (0) Good night (783) Bad night (400)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I put xanax in the cake batter

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

Did you really? It all makes sense now.

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(201): I put xanax in the cake batter (1-201): Did you really? It all makes sense now. http://tfl.nu/asjy

Replies (15) Good night (1046) Bad night (382)
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(810): View more from Michigan

Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.

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(810): Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer. http://tfl.nu/6hw0

Replies (1) Good night (407) Bad night (668)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"

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(240): Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin" http://tfl.nu/qnbq

Replies (2) Good night (215) Bad night (526)

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