Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.

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  (303): You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you. http://tfl.nu/1hxd
  Replies (22) Good night (4829) Bad night (1002)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado

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  (719): 3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado http://tfl.nu/w6qi
  Replies (72) Good night (7829) Bad night (838)
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  (518): View more from New York

  alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?

  (1-518): View more from New York

  dude. you drew those with your dick

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  (518): alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from? (1-518): dude. you drew those with your dick http://tfl.nu/4t0i
  Replies (24) Good night (7389) Bad night (1517)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.

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  (804): I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection. http://tfl.nu/8k0m
  Replies (14) Good night (1069) Bad night (4746)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.

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  (413): woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol. http://tfl.nu/kdb1
  Replies (21) Good night (1203) Bad night (8759)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.

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  (913): season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown. http://tfl.nu/f9w7
  Replies (33) Good night (4773) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  you thought your balls were fighting each other...

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  (815): you thought your balls were fighting each other... http://tfl.nu/ci9x
  Replies (13) Good night (4157) Bad night (1850)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.

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  (817): I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar. http://tfl.nu/lubl
  Replies (6) Good night (4098) Bad night (1710)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.

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  (806): We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers. http://tfl.nu/r7l6
  Replies (16) Good night (2683) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks

  (1-573): View more from Missouri

  the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..

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  (573): just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks (1-573): the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving.. http://tfl.nu/nln8
  Replies (10) Good night (1060) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food

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  (978): i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food http://tfl.nu/q8kr
  Replies (7) Good night (1138) Bad night (1452)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?

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  (773): What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again? http://tfl.nu/duvn
  Replies (7) Good night (1953) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....

  (1+44): View more from

  The baked potato bra?

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  (+44): I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered.... (1+44): The baked potato bra? http://tfl.nu/bc4d
  Replies (4) Good night (628) Bad night (827)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did

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  (205): There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did http://tfl.nu/00cd
  Replies (2) Good night (415) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical

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  (408): If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical http://tfl.nu/decu
  Replies (0) Good night (581) Bad night (289)

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