I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I think a kid would responsible me up
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
