Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
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Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
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I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it