we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.