Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
